When I came back from Sierra Leone to Canada, I had just gotten married and found out that I was pregnant. Let's say I didn't know how to react because everything happened so fast. I was alone in Canada since we were still waiting for my husband’s visa approval. I had to take care of myself and the pregnancy alone. I was thinking about who would be with me to support me. Around this time, my family and I were not in the best place relationship wise. Thanks to the Ancestors I had a family friend that I trusted completely. Her mother and her were there for me from day one.They accompanied me to appointments, taking days off work to assist me wherever I needed to go. My friend’s mother cooked meals for me and they truly pampered me. All the nervousness I had before vanished thanks to them.

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"I was calm throughout my labor, my friend was at my side massaging me and giving me positive support and energy."

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I'm a pediatric nurse who works in homes, and once again I was blessed to have clients cooking food for me and pampering me while I was in their home. They made it very easy for me. The greatest blessing was knowing that the Ancestors were with me; it took all the pressure off my shoulders. I worked nearly everyday throughout the pregnancy. I left for maternity leave one week before I gave birth.

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My initial plan was to have a birth center birth with the midwife that was following me my entire pregnancy.

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My friend was the first to be with me when I started labor in my home. I wasn’t able to make it to the birth center because the midwife was having trouble monitoring my son's heart rate. We had to go to the hospital instead.

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Again, thank the Ancestors, the hospital was a two minutes drive from my place compared to a 25 minutes drive to the birthing center. I was calm throughout my labor, my friend was at my side massaging me and giving me positive support and energy. It's like she was reading my thoughts, she knew exactly what I wanted and needed. She was the only one I wanted near me. Her words of encouragement got me through the birthing process. I thought to myself that having my mother or sister there would have irritated me.

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Even though I didn't get the birth center birth I wanted, my midwife made sure we had something similar. She got me a private room with a birth bath in the hospital (usually you'd have to pay 100s a night just to have a private room). This private room made a great difference for me. After 5 hours of active labor my son was finally there. I was out of the hospital within 3 hours afterwards.

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I was so surprised! My expectation was that it would be much worse. I believe the encouragement of my friend and midwife allowed me to have a healthy natural and positive birth with no complications.

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" I believe the encouragement of my friend and midwife allowed me to have a healthy natural and positive birth with no complications."

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My advice for women and girls regarding pregnancy and birth is you need a support system; a support system you can trust. Have someone around you that will be there for you without having to ask, someone that has good energy and not someone that will drain your energy. Someone who will give you advice whether you like it or not, but it's okay to disagree because that trust has to be there. That person you trust should be there from day one and throughout your pregnancy. When you have the support system that you put your trust in, those nervous thoughts won't be in your head.